Rainy days cant make you sad. Sad days make it rainy. |
(viii. hypersensitive clouds)
Ever since the penguins left, the heavens have been an uncertain place. So I warn you: beware of the sky! If you look hard enough, if you look long enough, you will see what I mean. You will see yourself, too. Of course you can always see yourself in the sky. Thats because of a strange coincidence. The sky looks clear. But really, you know, the sky was made as a shield. The sky traps in all the emotions of the world. And it has another quality, too. Ever since the sky broke, it also reflects, just like a mirror. Maybe it wasnt meant to be this way. But when you look at the sky you cant help but see that and us. Thats because the way we feel shines. Not like the sun. Its a different kind of shine, one that glows inwardly and through the eyes. And when we look up, our feelings reflect back to us from the sky; they transfigure in clouds. You must have noticed that whenever youre most sad, the days seem especially grey. And when youre happy, the sky is as blue as eyes. The Doctor is always consulting weather reports that are supposed to help her decide what to wear. Everyday she shows me weather forecasts that are completely wrong. The forecasters look at computers and satellites and draw imaginative pictures on blue screens. But in the end they are wrong more often than they are right. And yet the answers are right outside. I wonder sometimes if these forecasters ever take time to look at the sky. Even more easily, they could just look at each other. Truly, the only way to predict weather is to look at how people feel. Rainy days cant make you sad. Sad days make it rainy. Weather is easy to predict. I dont know why we are so afraid to admit that. Dont forget: the sky reflects us. Think about a happy blue sky. The clouds smiles are spread so wide that they all but disappear into a clear blue. Clouds only come when people are sad. The clouds are empathetic, and they come together to comfort one another. They mourn and congregate in their heavenly procession, traveling in grey hearses, shrouded and overcast. And theyre so sensitive! these clouds weeping at the slightest hint of pain, of sadness looking up at sky. The rain returns our misery to us. We forget sometimes: the sky is a shield, really. It protects the stars. So of course we can predict the weather. Because predicting weather is as easy as reading the expressions on your face. But then again, we often do not believe that we can predict another persons expressions either. But, like clouds, despite the varying shapes, we are all made of the same materials and react to the same patterns. The Doctor still doesnt believe me about the weather. Of course, she rarely looks out the window to see how true this is.
I ask her to look up at the sky, to see the approaching clouds on the horizon. I want her to see the messages that are also there in the clouds. Im talking about the messages we send from one to another. When you see clouds that look like animals and faces and sailboats these are the most important clouds of all. You must read these messages carefully though, because theyll disappear if you blink. If the Doctor doesnt want to read the expressions on peoples faces, she should at least read them in the clouds. Maybe, I wonder if this is true, will it be less frightening that way? "What do you see?" I ask her. "There is a cloud that looks like an automobile. There is another that sort of looks like a heart." She turns to look at me, but at the last moment turns her head again toward the ground. "But both have already faded away," she adds. What strange messages the Doctor has found in the sky! I look out the window to check. But all I see is a flock of sheep, a tree, some penguins, or possibly some stones. There is no automobile. Im not so sure about the heart. Perhaps the Doctor is not very good at reading the clouds. |