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(Doctor’s orders)

The Doctor says I have "amnesia." I was so happy when I heard this that I said "Thank you." The word sounds so peaceful that I was sure it meant something like calm, quiet, or easy.

"No," says the Doctor with a shake of her head. She is certain I am wrong. "Amnesia is when someone can’t remember the past." So even her definition sounds peaceful. But still she insists that forgetting is not a good thing at all.

people live in cornersDespite what the Doctor thinks, I do remember a lot. Actually, I’ve only forgotten the unimportant things – like dates, and prices, and names. Some people, like the Doctor, take time to worry about the strangest things! She can’t even remember how many butterflies she has seen in a day, and for someone who loves time, it’s odd that she doesn’t even know when the sun sets. Besides, I do recall many things that even she has overlooked. I think these forgettings are the most important of all.

So I’m going to write down everything I remember – Doctor’s orders. It’s the only idea of hers that I’ve agreed to so far. Usually her advice has to do with medicines, scalpels, or other pointless things. Writing, though, seems far more reasonable. The Doctor herself also writes. She scribbles secretly on countless charts and graphs, and she even organizes her life neatly into an appointment book. But I’m supposed to write because the Doctor believes it will help bring back my memories.

Now then, I’d like to ask you for a favor. Please read this patiently, consider every memory, and tell me if you remember these memories too. Because if only I remember, then maybe it’s just a dream. But if you remember also, then it becomes history.

You can take as many breaks as you like. Go for a walk sometimes. Drink lemonade. Stretch your legs and relax. Sleep whenever you feel tired. Nothing I can tell you is as important as your comfort. And when you’re finished, if nothing I say means anything, you can close this book, put it in a drawer, and continue your life as if none of this ever happened. You’ll never need to think about it again. I promise I don’t have much to tell. Of course, I think you know all this already.

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